Western culture promotes never giving up and holding on, but like many things in life, when this mindset is taken to the extreme this persistence can lead to destructive stubbornness. You clench your fists, grit your teeth, and dig your heels into the ground ready to take on the world all the while holding deep within yourself some belief which may no longer serve you.
This is where letting go comes in. Letting go is the opposite of the control, or rather the illusion of control we seek. This desire to control can play out in many different ways:
Playing scenarios over and over again, replaying where you went wrong or what you would do next time.
Worrying about things which are clearly out of your control - the way someone may act towards you, physical safety while traveling, weather being perfect for an outdoor event, etc.
Forcing or manipulating a relationship to go in a certain direction
Do you see a version of yourself of trying to maintain control as you read this short list?
Letting go is not letting go of your hopes, dreams, or drive, but rather letting go of the strong grip of forcing life to go the exact way you desire. Letting go is letting go of worrying about what will happen to you if your worst nightmare becomes a reality. Letting go is allowing yourself to sit with the feelings which come up in life instead of dismissing them. Letting go is surrendering to the experience of life, a life filled with ups and downs, which you as a perfectly whole and resourceful individual can handle.
Similar to life, getting a ketamine infusion for the first time or even the tenth time can make you grasp for control. Thoughts of, “I don’t want to have hallucinations!”, “Don’t let me get nauseated”, “I don’t want to cry or feel sad”, “Please let me just sail through the infusion without encountering past memories”, “I want a good infusion”. Recognize these thoughts and feelings which come up as attempts to control and protect yourself from harm from an unknown. The experiences you have during an infusion and in life may actually be exactly what you need for your transformation and growth.
When you let go and surrender to your life and the ketamine experience, you may be pleasantly surprised by what opens up for you.
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