I came across a really old story that piqued my interest and I want to share that story with you. It's about a man, a son, and their donkey and why it’s important to know how to deal with criticism. We all face criticisms in life that may hurt or affect us if we let them. In this blog, we will share with you how you can face criticisms without getting hurt.
There’s a story about the man, a son, and their donkey that talks about how to deal with criticism.
The Man, A Son, And Their Donkey
One day, a man and a son were walking their donkey into the market. As they were walking on the road, they passed by a group of men. The group of men said, "Wow, look at those two. They have a donkey and they're just walking him. They're not even using or riding him."
The man and son then looked at each other and said, "Hmm, maybe they’re right." So the man placed his son on top of the donkey and continued making their way back to the market. And as they continued, they passed by another person who saw the son riding the donkey and said aloud, "Man, what a lazy son! His poor dad is walking and the son is riding on his donkey, not even sharing and respecting the elderly."
So, the man and his son look at each other and say, "Hmm, we need to change something." From there, the man took his son off and then he got on top of the donkey. The son began leading the way as they continue their way into the market. They passed by a group of women and the women say, "Oh my goodness. Look at that greedy old man. His poor son has to lead the donkey and walk him. He must be so tired from not even being able to ride on the donkey."
They heard the group of women and said, “You know what, maybe we need to do something." So the man takes his son and puts him on top of the donkey and now they're both riding the donkey into the market.
A few minutes later, they continue walking and they pass by another group of people who say, "Oh my gosh. Look at that poor donkey. Both the man and the son are riding on top of it. Those two should be arrested for animal abuse!"
And hearing this, the man and the son get off the donkey and say, "Huh what can we do?" So they decide to get a stick and tie the donkey's four legs onto the stick so that they can carry the donkey on their shoulders.
They continue to walk and as they cross the bridge on their way to the market, the donkey starts to make a lot of noise because he doesn’t like being carried. So he kicks one of his legs and he falls right into the river and dies, taking along the boy as well as the man and they all perish.
The moment you take criticism too seriously, you end up trying to please everyone. But in the end, you end up pleasing no one.
The Moral Of The Story
What is the point of this story? Well it's a little bit absurd but it's a reminder that when you try to please everyone, you end up pleasing no one. I know a lot of times we can get criticized whether that might be online or might be in person. At the end of the day, everyone is going to have something to say about you.
And when you know this, you get to decide what is the best course of action for you. Regardless of whatever you do, someone will criticize you! Why? Because everyone has their own unique perspective.
By not letting criticism get to us and knowing that it has nothing to do with you, you will be able to live a more peaceful life.
A Stoic Perspective On Criticism
This story reminds me of a Stoic perspective. Back in the days, Stoics also faced the same challenges that we currently do: criticism.
One of their recommendations was when someone is criticizing you, you have to acknowledge who that person is. Is it someone close to you or is it some random stranger or creature? If it’s someone who is close to you and someone you respect, then you should take their criticism as constructive criticism out of their love for you. If you take it that way, you will focus more on improving yourself rather than getting hurt.
Let’s have a different take. Now, let’s say a dog starts barking at you as you’re passing by someone’s house. And every time you pass by that person’s house, that dog barks at you. So you get angry and upset each time that happens.
That isn’t a Stoic thing to do. Why? Because that's what dogs do. They're protecting their master’s house. That’s why they’re barking at you. It’s not because they’re directing their anger specifically at you.
Using this metaphor, let’s think of the dog barking as someone constantly criticizing you. That person may not really know you. And just like the dog, they could be criticizing other people they don’t know too. So, are we going to let that affect us? Definitely not. It has nothing to do with you.
You don’t know these people, and they don’t know you. We can learn to be immune from their criticism. At the end of the day, when you try to please everybody, you end up pleasing nobody.
None of us are immune to criticisms from other people. We can choose to either get hurt and affected by it, or simply ignore it and move on with life. In this blog, we talk about a story that shares why you shouldn’t let these criticisms dictate your actions.
